Monday, March 07, 2005

10 things I have done that you have not.

1. When I was a teenager my parents forgot to pick me up from a 4-H meeting. I fell asleep on the courtyard steps, rolled down the stairs and under the bushes and was arrested for vagrancy.

2. In high school, I was questioned by the police for terrorism. I was staying with my aunt and someone blew up her mail box. I was accused of doing it.

3. On the first day of my first job after college, I hung up my very new suit above a space heater and brushed my teeth. When I opened my eyes, I realized the suit was incinerated and the bathroom was in flames.

4. I was in 70 mile per hour rollover accident on a major freeway with 7 family members. I was driving. All lived.

5. I broke the window of my car because the key wouldn't work in the door. That's when I noticed it wasn't my car.

6. I worked as a journeyman plumber to finance my college education.

7. I was driving a group of kindergartens on a field trip when I was caught in the cross fire between the police and some bank robbers.

8. Once, I was reading a book while crossing a street and was hit by a moped. Ouch.

9. My father gave me permission to go with any aliens that ever wanted to abduct me. I'm still waiting.

10. My parrot was killed accidentally. It involved a net, a water hose, a 911 call and the fire department. There is a group of first graders who will also need therapy for life.

OK, if anyone watches Lost, they are going to think I'm a Hurley clone. And I don't have a clue what those numbers mean. I'm writing them backwards to stay safe -- 42, 23, 16, 15, 8, 4.

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