Saturday, October 25, 2014

Chicken by Chicken: Shaken to the Core

Hi folks,

I'm continuing the series of Chicken by Chicken. This week I'm writing about being shaken to the core. Have you ever had a period a time when you are working, and you are just not feeling IT? What is IT? IT is a sense of assurance that you will find your way, a deep internal knowledge that your work will reach others, and some kind of genetic thing that you are meant to do what you are doing. This feeling of IT has been with me for decades. I think that Socrates called this his divine something that guided him along his path. This divine something never told him what to do, but nudged him this way and that to find the sweet spots that would rocket him forward along the river of destiny.

So this IT feeling has left me.

I don't know exactly when. A few months back, I think. You can see it in my recent blogs. I'm digging into the bedrock to hold on. I want the feeling back, but I don't know how to make it return. I'm living my own little Ecclesiastes, Chapter 1. Meaningless. Meaningless. But I'm fighting back with there is a time and season for everything under heaven. There is a season to dig up the ground. And here I am digging. What have I found so far? Long walks lift me up. I think. I sing. I watch butterflies. It's good for the soul. Kind thoughts also help. I try to think of what I would tell someone that is the same place I am. Then I say those things to myself. I listen to Burl Ives songs. Here is a link.  I say my prayers. I keep on working, even though it is slow going. I do little artist things. Go to lectures. Hang out with other artists. Find ways to be helpful.

I'm shaken to the core, but I am confident that what can't be shaken will remain. I'm holding to that right now. I have a deep desire to do more as an artist, to jump up to something more profound, but I didn't see this piece of the journey ahead. I have no idea where to jump. I'm whispering hourly, "Heart find your way."

Every little soul will shine. We all go through deep waters. Rise up! Don't give up. I will be back next week.

For doodles this month I'm featuring doodles from my ebook Halloween project: Chicken Take Over Halloween.   This one is "Robot Chickens."

A quote for your pocket. 

Many a book is like a key to unknown chambers within the castle of one’s own self.
― Franz Kafka

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Chicken by Chicken: Accepting Who We Are.

Hi, folks, this week is another response  blog. I heard a song called Constellations by Brendan James and it resonated with me. This is a long ramble, a thought journey, inspired by that song, and I hope that you find something to take with you.

I feel like don't really understand the world, and it makes me cry. I feel so out of step with the seasons and times. I can't stand reading the news, or even checking out my Facebook half the time. There are too many wars. Nation against nation. Neighbor against neighbor. Here inside me, I hunger to see people come together, to take a deep breath and just figure out where to go from here. I hope bridges are built, coalitions are made, and every voice is heard. I dream that we would all listen and find better ways. I don't want to join the madding crowd that wants to heckle the stupid, drop bombs, and dehumanize others, all in the name of a better world.

I see the Universe at night and how it is able to spin out wondrous things and at the same time wreak great destruction. I feel the transience of life and yet eternity hums in my heart. Everyone I know is trying to get through the day without dwelling on the darkness. Some take the "be positive about everything" route. Some take the "find a cause" route. I swing between the route of despair and the route of hope, that I might be the voice that breaks through the noise and says something helpful.

I have had unshakable confidence throughout my life that if I got a chance on a stage that I would move the hearts of those shivering on the edges. I have believed that I would grow like a wild weed, but now see so clearly that my life is just a breath and is gone. A Monarch butterfly was caught in between the window and the screen in my house. Some hapless caterpillar crawled between the window and screen and formed a chrysalis. The butterfly emerged and now would die if I did not figure out a gentle way to remove the screen and let it go on it's way to the graveyards of Mexico for the day of dead. When I figured out a way to set the butterfly free, it occurred to me that all of my life might be just for that. Perhaps those beautiful wings have more purpose than I will ever have.

This brings me to the heart of this thought journey. I have hungered for purpose. I have believed all my life that a day was coming that the gifts within me would become visible, like the span over us -- Orion, the Pleiades, the evening star, the moon, and the swath of the Milky Way. I have believed my gifts would come clear like those lights in the heavens. But here I am making less than minimum wage and imploding under the stress of another miss in terms of my intended goal.

In the end we are not in control of our story, and hence I must embrace the days given us. I find embracing the smallness of who I am is difficult. Megalomania is expected in rock stars, but not here in Suburbia. I have to laugh at myself a little and laugh at my little dramas.There is certainly a ridiculousness to me.

Ah, you are just a onion flower in the yard. Most folks will pass by the onion flower but, hey, go ahead and bloom. Touch ten hearts, fifty hearts, A copper star for you.  Not the silver, not the gold. That's all, dear. Work it out.

Thank you for dropping by and remember every little thing shines.  See you next week.

This week is a page from my Halloween project: CHICKENS TAKE OVER HALLOWEEN. 

Here is a quote for your pocket.
The end of law is not to abolish or restrain, but to preserve and enlarge freedom. For in all the states of created beings capable of law, where there is no law, there is no freedom.John Locke.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Chicken by Chicken: Living in Today

Hi, folks, as promised my amazing chicken doodle project will be featured at the end of this post!  I am over the top busy right now, but that is a good thing. This week I continue my "Chicken by Chicken" series.  This week I'm going to write about today.

OK, I'm in a waffle mode this week. If you want my Kindle rant/ramble, I will email it to you if you ask. I've been wandering around today and thoughts keep pecking at me. What keeps coming to me is "living in today."  It's something that I struggle with. I struggle with worry. I worry about tomorrow -- will anyone love my work? I worry yesterday -- why isn't anyone into my work,  and this worry does a good job of derailing (at least in part of) today.  I'm working on this.

Writing a book is a slow process. I show up day after day, bright eyed and ready to go. I cut out my stories piece by piece. I stitch them together and then polish and polish.  It takes some time to create a book.  Today I can effectively write some of a rough draft, polish a chapter, write a synopsis.  Writing requires all this crazy faith that I will eventually spin out a book that resonates, but at the end of each day I live life in the creation of works, not in what happens to that creation.

I show up for a thousand todays and finally a time comes for people to see my work. There will be opinions all over the place. Some love me. Some hate me. Some  say meh. Meanwhile I must begin the journey of the next thousand days.  My life is the thousand days, not the day everyone sees my work and makes their decisions about it. Worrying if someone will care in the future, and worrying about if someone doesn't care is past, I have to do the work of letting go of worry and embracing today.

I hope that you find the celebration of today this week. I hope that you find the words you are searching for. I hope that you let go of yesterday and tomorrow, and embrace today.

Instead of a doodle, here is my cover or my chicken project.  Here is the link. 

Here is a quote for your pocket:

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.
Abraham Lincoln

Saturday, October 04, 2014

Chicken by Chicken: Chopping Your Own Path in the Wilderness of Art

Hi folks, I am working hard right now: a little fun project that features my chicken doodles (more to come about that) along with the first draft of my next novel (Top Secret Title). On my chicken doodles, I am an amazing chicken doodler.  This is, of course, self-aggrandizing praise and has no meaning, except to inform you that I really like my chicken doodles. Prepare to be dazzled.

Anyway, on to this week's topic: chopping your own path in the wilderness of art is akin to breaking new ground in a garden. It's back breaking work. The yields are going to be low until the ground gets its mojo going.  Weeds will war with your newly turned land. Everyone will admire your work, and at the same everyone will say you aren't doing it right. They may mention your method is too complicated or too different. Or that you are growing a crop that no one wants. Many will say you are too obscure. Dear Lord, apparently there is no room in this world for the unusual.

Pardon me while I howl over the Grand Canyon. I like the echo.

I love art that goes into the wilderness. I had to wake up to this fact a while ago. I'm an outsider. I've dedicated my life to chopping new paths.  Like most folks on who travel into the wilderness, I have no idea where I am going. I have a feeling something is out there, somewhere, beyond -- it's difficult to say. I am pioneering. Like Willa Cather said in O Pioneers, “A pioneer should have imagination, should be able to enjoy the idea of things more than the things themselves.” You must embrace the  unseen if you want your own patch in the wilderness.

Here I give you encouragement to follow you crazy ideas. Yes! Here are your new words: Why not! If the road isn't working for you. Cut into the field. Look up at the stars as you go. I get plenty of strength from the stars. There are new patterns to be explored, There are new stories to be told. To understand now you might have to look to the future or the past. How can I be so sure? I see this written in the stars. You don't have to know where you are going. I think that there is room for pioneering in art. I believe we need unique voices. Don't let folks shut you down with their fear of the unknown.

Finally, if you got down this far, you're probably a fan of my work.  I have a book out there called PLUMB CRAZY. If you can give it some reader love, I would appreciate it.

Here's a newsy item. the Cybils, a bloggers award for children's literature,  are open for nominations. You can nominate your favorite books. 

I will be back next week with more musing.

Here is a doodle: Gandalf Chicken

If you are going down a road and don't like what's in front of you and look behind you and don't like what you see, get off the road. Create a new path! Maya Angelou