Saturday, September 17, 2011

Hunger

Hi, folks. It's still hot here but not as hot as it was, and I'm majorly grateful for that. I'm working on my WIP this week. Writing a book reminds me of an old story in the Bible of Jacob wrestling with an angel. The angel wrenched Jacob's hip so hard that Jacob would limp for the rest of his life. The angel wrestled with Jacob all through a dark, long night. Finally, at daybreak, when the angel figured out that Jacob wasn't going to let go for any reason, the angel asked him what he wanted. Jacob replied, "Bless me. I'm not letting go unless you bless me." And the angel blessed Jacob because he had struggled with God and with men and had overcome. Writing a book feels like wrestling an angel.

Mixed in my angel battle are these moments that always come to me at dawn. I woke up this morning with a overwhelming feeling of hunger. Not for food -- I yearn for readers. I also yearn to uncover something of this world within the fictive dream. I work over words, sentences and paragraphs, chapters and read that WIP for the umpteenth time in hopes I can draw something out that shakes the foundations. Anything that can be shaken, will be. I'm into revealing what is left after the storms of this life, the stuff that is unfailing: our faith that things will work out in the end, our hopes of the future, and our love for each other.

The task is so much better than me. I get the feeling that I'm an old bucket in a field and I'm hoping for a decent rain. That's saying I don't know if I can do the thing I want to do. I can only try. So pull out your computers, pens, pencils, whatever you need to create shared dreams and work. I think the wrestling is a good thing. I think that hunger is a good thing. This journey is worthy. I think that's something many artists struggle with. Art doesn't generally put sacks of green paper in the bank. It will garner lots of roll-your-eyes comments like, "What do you really do?" and perhaps, "Why don't you do something useful with your life." Gosh, that stuff can needle into you. Some folks do find a wide audience, but I haven't met one that didn't have a long inward struggle to get what she wanted on the page. I haven't met one who hasn't felt the hunger.

So take it from someone who's been traveling the road for a while, take it from someone who gets wrestling with angels, this journey is worth it. Rise up. Keep on the road. Carry on.

I call the doodle this week: "Two trees".



My quote for the week:

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
Friedrich Nietzsche

6 comments:

Faith Pray said...

Wow. This is beautiful. Such a perfect description of the writing battle! I love how you weave music out of it. Inspiring, and the perfect nourishment for my crazy WIP wrestle-mania season.

MollyMom103 said...

Hi, Faith! I'm glad you are in the fight. Yay for crazy WIP wrestle-mania! I like this poem by poet Grace Noll Crowell, "The poetry of the Earth runs through this day, like green-gold ribbons and scarlet flame." I'm just listening to the music. M.

Vijaya said...

What a lovely analogy. Alas, I am wrestling with boxes and trying to make order out of chaos. The real work of settling in has begun. Please pray for us.

MollyMom103 said...

I will totally pray for you, Vijaya. Moving is a process. I'm still moving in after a year and third. I give myself five years to totally move from A to B. :) Hugs. Molly

Vijaya said...

Five years?!!! Thud! For much of my life we've moved every couple of years ...

But you are so right about moving being a process and it taking time. I appreciate the prayers.

MollyMom103 said...

You are a nomad! I really like to stay put. I like the small town feel of knowing everyone. I think you get imprinted as a child an it's difficult to break away from that. I mean I am back in a town I lived in for 13 years.

I have been praying. Hugs, Vijaya.