Saturday, July 27, 2013

Pitfalls -- Despair

Hi folks, tons of stuff hitting this week end so this will be short but heartfelt.  I've seen authors at the point of despair and feel like I'm teetering close right now. So how does this pitfall work? It's the feeling you get after hundreds of submissions, hundreds of more queries, a number of almost published moments, and a ton of personal notes from many, many, publishing professionals that your works are PRETTY GOOD, but not good enough, for a number of reasons.  I will tell you what I do to deal with it.

I keep working. You just don't go this far and give it up. It's not good sense.

I also do little things that perk me up  -- go to an open reading, try writing something I haven't tried before, and daydream  about the moment when someone says yes to my work. The only thing I'm sure of -- despair is a choking emotion, and it must be negated.

I fight for optimism. I keep a file of notes people have written to me about how much they enjoy my writing. I reread those. I talk to my writing friends about how I feel and this often cheers me up. I think about people who have persevered in much more trying circumstances than mine.  I think about the future the most, instead of the past. Last, I hope. I let that thing with feathers perch in my soul.

Here is the deepest thing I know to do. I ask myself if my stories might make a difference. The answer is the one thing I am sure about. I think they will, and so I don't give up. I believe. That is all I can do.

Hope you climb out of the pit of despair if you are in it. I am sure of this too: if you quit, you will not succeed. :) Keep trying.

Here is my doodle: "Diving Bird"  This was copied from a petroglyph in New Mexico. I like that the soul of the bird is a smiley face. 



One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself. Lucille Ball

13 comments:

Vijaya said...

Molly, yes, keep on going. That's my motto too. I have a different sort of despair ... with the bad headaches. It's been a very tough week ... asking for prayers.

MollyMom103 said...

I had a migraine this week. I will pray for you.

am thinking about Horatio Spafford this week. The grace he found helps me. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horatio_Spafford.

Mirka Breen said...

Ditto to the feeling, and especially your remedies.
And one more: some of the world's most compelling art is about despair, so knowing it is also important.
At least that's what I tell myself at times. Whatever works!;)

Mirka Breen said...

P.S., apropos your comment^, Molly---
Just wanted to add that I know The American Colony Hotel in east Jerusalem well. A lovely place and an island of peace and sanity to this day, established by Horatio and Ann Spafford.

MollyMom103 said...

Hi,Mirka,

I do think the pressure from despair does help sharpen the work. It's a good think to think.

Oh, I wold like to go that hotel someday. That would be cool. I have seen so little of the world. I've lived a very provincial life so far, but I have dreams.

Leandra Wallace said...

You have some great tips for helping to pick yourself up. Hope you feel like your normal self soon- I know you will!

MollyMom103 said...

Yes, I've had a rough week. Thanks for dropping by. Kind words are always appreciated.

Next month I run with my series on the keys of writing success. Working on the optimism...

Becky Shillington said...

Molly, I have been there many times. You have a wonderful attitude, and will feel better soon, I hope. These are the toughest days, and something not all writers share, so thank you for your honesty. At least we are all in this together!

Incidentally, yours is the first blog I have seen with the same background that I chose for mine--you have fabulous taste (and a terrific blog!). I am glad I found it! = )

Candilynn Fite said...

Big hugs, Molly. Often times in our line of work, there are dark moments. We can wallow in them or rise above them. Sounds like you have some pretty good advice for climbing out of what can sometimes be bottomless pits.

Hope your week is looking up. :)

MollyMom103 said...

Hi, there, Becky. I'm like Rembrandt in how to reveal the natural world. If you always hide the shadows, the art looks flat. It's the contrast that reveals the truth.

Blog background twins. :) Thanks for dropping by.

MollyMom103 said...

Hi, Candilynn, One thing I never feel or even think, that any pit is bottomless. I don't even think blackholes are bottomless. They must lead somewhere...

Christina Farley said...

Keep hanging in there. Sometimes I find when I'm at my lowest is when I'm so close to something. If nothing else, it teaches me patience and the whole writing and waiting has definitely made me a stronger person.

MollyMom103 said...

Hi, Christina, I hope I'm close to something, I really do. Thank you for the kind words. And thanks for dropping by.